For many people out there, the importance of family is instilled in your mind since birth. You are taught to look out for each other, protect each other, fight for each each other and prioritize each other over everyone else.
I was not exposed to these values until I was almost a teenager. By that point I doubted the phrase often said to me “Blood is thicker than water” due to family problems. I was exposed to these values as a teenager because that’s when I moved in with my father. I doubted these values because the reason I moved was problems I faced with my mother. You see?
There I was taught that I must choose family no matter what because they will be there for you when no one else is, they will support you in the decisions you make and try to do their best for you.
I found it ironic when I was then asked to leave that home after less than four years of living there and then made out to be a disaster of a child who no one would be able to cope with in life. This is where I ramble on about how I have never been to a house party, or gotten drunk, I do not smoke, I am not pregnant, I have not sneaked out of the house, I have not swore at my parents or stolen.
I am now living with my grandparents and am very happy here.
Sadly, even that can’t last forever. They are moving abroad and so I will have to fend for myself which I am more than capable of doing!
Recently I’ve seen a lot of people who adore their family and it had me thinking of what my family is to me. I found the answer.
My family is a jigsaw. I cannot decide if I am a single jigsaw piece glued to the centre of the table with various family members attaching themselves on and breaking off. Or if I am a single jigsaw piece that is continually attached and removed from various jigsaws; we have all as a child forced a jigsaw piece into a slot thinking ‘it fits!’ but it doesn’t, not really, it is not a match and it is not right.
Either way, right now I am part of a three-piece puzzle that will be breaking apart very soon. After that it will just be me and I guess that’s okay. Although, not ideal.
I have a fiancé who I love and so it is my job now to forget the family members who have let me down and focus on building a future instead where perhaps, one day, I will build my own family and no longer feel like part of someone else’s puzzle.