This morning, Facebook kindly reminded me that two years ago today I moved into my very own home. At this exact time two years ago, as I write this, I was in a Premier Inn in Glasgow getting ready to take my fiance to my very first concert which was Ben Howard. To this day, it is still the only concert I have been to. Something for the bucket list, I guess.
Since then, things have changed. I’m not sure how many of you know this but I currently stay alone. It has its positives and negatives, but then, what doesn’t?! The things I thought I would hate about staying alone I actually quite like; and vice versa. I thought I would share my experience of living alone, for just over a year, as a young person with anxiety. (Does 19 make me a young person? Or simply an adult that is pretending to be a teenager?)
Anyway, I have managed to keep myself alive for over a year and I think that is an achievement in its self. I don’t have the most amazing diet, my house isn’t as clean or decorated as nicely as it could be. Nonetheless, I am alive and breathing for yet another blog post.
I would say that living alone has greatly helped my anxiety. I have my own safe place that is 100% mine (so long as I continue to pay rent) and the only people that can enter this safe place is people I welcome into it. If I’ve had a day full of social interaction that has required one too many breathing exercises then I can come home and just breathe. A deep satisfying breath of cherry vanilla that allows me to know I am home safe and sound for another night. Likewise, if I’ve been spending a little too much time at home and the same four walls are slowly creeping further in I can lock the door and run away. I can go on a walk or to a friend’s house.
I much prefer to go out and meet people rather than inviting them over. This may be due to anxiety. This may be due to the image I have in my head of a beautifully decorated flat which my own does not live up to. Don’t get me wrong, the decoration could be far worse. I simply just haven’t gotten it exactly as I would like as time is never on my side, especially with all this running in and out of doors, and I change my mind a whole lot.
I would love to hear the experiences of other people living alone with anxiety, leave a comment below or reach out to me on twitter.
If you have any questions about living alone, including advice, then I would love to help out.